the pretty things

That side

You are wild.  I would know. 

You run like the wind.  I do know. 

You are brave,  I have seen you

Believe me I know you have courage

You are marvellous. 

You are the beauty of the nature. 

I have seen it.  I have seen it all. 

So what if the wicked stays in the shadow

And the lying plays a game or two

You are not made of that.  

You are the better kind. 

The better race of the better mind. 

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The sea

Is judging us.

Its calm beauty

Unwavered.

Its flow

Uninterrupted 

Our pasts

Unimportant 

Our sadness 

Unnoticed

The sea 

Is judging 

Our petty issues

Our lovers quarrels 

And our broken hearts

The sea has been broken

Polluted

It carries the dead 

In its arms

It has been redirected

Lead to barrenness 

It carries the reminders

Of every breath that

Dipped in unthankfully

Unknowing

That the sea 

Is judging us. 

It has grief beyond

A hundred lifetimes 

Of our pain and anguish

The sea judges us

Because it says

Flow

Free

Undying in your faith

I Little titles of existence 

Done

I have exhausted my capacity of loving.  I have loved you with a million little pieces of my soul.  Giving you a million little pieces of myself.  I am done. 

Finding

Now.  Its about the million little pieces of me that you threw away on the way to moving on.  Where do I search for them?   Where do I find myself? Pick me up and bind myself. 

Extract

And if I do find a piece or two lying around the old haunts,  how do I extract myself from them? I don’t have the energy. I don’t have the will.  I wander aimlessly in search for myself, not wanting to be myself. 

Grow

Why don’t I grow a million little pieces again?  Form myself whole, again. 

How?  How do you ask a flower to Bloom after it has wilted?  It dies. And seeds. There are seeds.  I have seeds.  Where do I plant them? My body feels barren. 

Fertility

Where did all the potential for my future go?  Down the drain with a million little pieces. Barren mind full of sadness, only more sadness it begets. 

I am not fertile.  I am sad.  Sadness grows on me birthing a million little pieces of sadness. 

Calming

It takes a million little breaths and slight pauses to calm myself down. To breathe fully and hope to regain enough energy to build upon the barren land a fertile Base where I can flourish once again. 

Hope

I had.  Million little pieces full of me and my hope. Lost. 

Love

I do.  Million little pieces of hard work on Unconditional and undying. Lost.

A song for love

For all you lovers who have to go through distance


A hundred days since I saw you

A hundred nights since I kissed you

You break my heart and you make my heart

You’re the deranged being who stole my heart
Heart heart heart
Where is my heart?
A hundred days since I saw you

A hundred nights since I kissed you
My ribcage is empty and my eyes are weeping 

My life is simply a disaster in waiting.
Wait wait wait 
Where is all this time? 
A hundred days since I saw you

A hundred nights since I kissed you
I lost my virginity to your eyes

And when you went you took my sight

And that’s how we screwed our both lives
Life life life

Where is our life? 
A hundred days since I saw you

A hundred nights since I kissed you
Wake me up and take me away

Let’s just forget everything for a day

Behave like bunnies and smoke away
Wake wake wake

Where is this day? 
A hundred days since I saw you

A hundred nights since I kissed you

Tonight you can

Tonight you can

Laugh at me

Sting of the tear

Will brave the heat

Tonight you can

Sing to me

Last of the sound

Will make it to me

Tonight you can

Show the pain

Hurt of the heart

Will hate the name

Tonight you can

Bless the rain 

Drops of blood

Will leave a stain

Tonight you can

Sum me up

Tremendous effort

Will not be vain

Tonight you can

Live the universe

Flashing lights

Will show you the way

Tonight you can

Tonight you can

Tonight you can 

Run away. 

Lover mine

Sings quite insane 

My lovers voice

High and low

Pain and heart

Lover mine betrays. 

Pain and heart

Lover mine stays

What a motion

Of beauty in the eyes

A twinkle shines 

Mischief and quiet 

Lover mine betrays

Mischief and quiet 

Lover mine  stays. 

Beauty of the night

Come dance in twilight 

Of hearty gestures

Faults and life

Lover mine betrays. 

Faults and life. 

Lover mine stays

And my friend said

Don’t talk about it.  Quit thinking about it.  One day,  it’ll  make you look back and think “this, THIS was bothering me?” 

And does anyone ever tell us to shut up about our problems? 

They sympathise.  Let us wallow in our misery and even encourage a little rant.  

But is that the best for us?  

I don’t think so. 

Not always. 

Sometimes it’s better to shut up and suck it up.  

Take a step forward.  Keep moving.  Not looking back,  reminding ourselves of the misery and pain of what hurt us. 

I am still learning how it works.  Maybe I’ll forget I had a pain point ever.  Maybe I won’t.  But is it worth a try?  Why not?  What have we achieved by endless rants and useless validation? 

A reminder. 

Of pain

We don’t need that. 

At least I hope we don’t because forgetting pain while reminding ourselves of it seems like a paradox not worth testing. 
So stop.  Quit talking about it.  Quit it.  Its bad.  One day,  you’ll forget it.