life perspective

The seventy fifth time

For

The seventy fifth time I repeat.

It’s okay.

It’s a ritual of each breath

Breathe in

Breathe out

Caught myself from falling down

And Collapsing in a heap

Bitter judgement

Better thoughts

Are yet to come.

For

The seventy fifth time I repeat

It’s okay

Believing in my voice

Is harder than before

It falters every bit

Settles the score

Of haunted dreams

Manifested in sound

It quivers with sadness

Built on hope

For

The seventy fifth time I repeat

It’s okay

Closing my eyes

Blocking the beauty

Blinding me from within

Hate rising up to my eyes

Brimming with tears

Ready to gush out

Soaked with shame

Of plenty weak moments

For

The seventy fifth time I repeat

I repeat it’s okay

I repeat it’s fine

I repeat it’ll get better

I repeat the sun will be kind

The moon will care

And the body will dare

Another chance at  love

Hoping for escape

From despair.

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And my friend said

We will laugh at all this a few years down the line

And boy wasn’t he right. 
Because,  no matter what you think  right now,  what place you’re in right now and what is happening to you right now.  IT WILL CHANGE.  
For better or for worse.  I do not know.  But things will change and you’ll be ahead of whatever you have been thinking,  doing and what has happened to you.
  You’ll  be a completely different person living a different reality and if you’re not,  you went wrong somewhere.  Learn and absorb.  That’s what my friend says.  And change and adapt. That’s what my friend says.  
So why not think about the future like this,  about how we’ll  be changed and beautiful in entirety rather than fretting about how things will turn  out.
Its about how we will turn out.  And laugh at all the damn stupidity we got ourselves worked up for. 

So let’s turn out Fucking fabulous and wholly changing all the time,  every moment, laughing away the change and not taking life too seriously.